Remember when GTA games used to be really fun?

So you might know that GTA: Liberty City Stories (LCS from here on) is a prequel to GTA3 set in the same city with (too) many of the same characters. It came out for PSP a while ago, but recently, it's been ported to the PS2. Yes, ported, from the PSP to the PS2. So it's a given already that graphics will be terrible. I picked this up for PS2 anyway for $20. I figured that I wouldn't be so shallow that the graphics would kill the game for me. I was wrong.

Well actually, the thing that turned me off the most about this game is its boring story, characters, and presentation. GTA 3, Vice City, and San Andreas had some ubsurd plot elements at times like ridiculous plot twists and unrealistic characters. San Andreas went the most over-the-top when it sent CJ on a fighter jet to shoot down some South American boats for the government. Looking back at those times now though, I realize that over-the-top, nonsensical plots can still be fun, and are a whole lot better than bland ones. In LCS, you play as Tony Cipriani and while seeing him interact with his cruel mother is funny, there's not much else to like or dislike. Maria is acting like a dirty tramp again. Yawn. Salvatore wants to take over the town. Ok. Donald Love wants to be mayor. I don't know if it was the plot, the voice acting, or the cutscenes, but Liberty City Stories never had me wondering or caring what happens next. Even though it was stupid, how cool was it when in San Andreas, you were dumped off in the middle of nowhere with hardly any money and no weapons? Or when you-know-who turned on you in Vice City? None of the characters are really compelling anymore. And the cut-scenes are downright pathetic; the characters hardly ever move while talking. And there seems to be some pause between some lines; I dunno, but it doesn't sound like real conversation.

In LCS, as in all GTA games, you wander around in an (ugly) digital city, killing people, driving (stolen) cars, doing missions (which involve killing people), and doing other random stuff. It's pretty much back to GTA3-times though (the Dark Ages!) so you can't crouch (much less roll), sneak, perform hand-to-hand combos, super sprint, climb over fences, although at least there are motorcycles in this game. This game has nostalgia value, but it quickly got frustrating, especially since the AI characters can take cover. I guess the wee little PSP couldn't handle those kinds of things, huh?

Now I'm not a stickler for graphics, especially when it comes to a PS2 game, but when the graphics are so crud that you can't really tell a rival gang member from one of your own and thus interfere with gameplay, that's going too far. The sound isn't too hot either; I only like 4 or 5 songs on the entire radio.

And yeah, for those of you who like the PS2 version of GTA, this may not apply, but I hate the targeting system in the game. You auto-target when you press a button and you can cycle through targets, but that is not fun to do when you're surrounded by enemies. Then some enemies seem to be too far away for the targeting system to catch up, and sometimes it just seems to skip people over! Yes, there is a free aim option, but Tony can't move while doing this, which makes it somewhat uselesss. The PC versions of these games is much better in this regard. Too bad LCS isn't going to be made for it.

This game's only redeeming quality is its nostalgia value and the fact that Rockstar knew this and only made it $20. The graphics are ugh, but what killed this game for me is its boring story and faceless characters. I don't really care about Tony Cipriani, Salvatore, Maria, or Donald Love. They're either boring or caricatures of their previous appearances in the GTA universe (especially Maria). Spend your $20 elsewhere. Obviously, to Rockstar, portable games must not be as good as their console/PC brethen.

Poo.

xo,

underdawg